90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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