come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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