so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize