If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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