sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
