drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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