with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we're making bets on your personal life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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