His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
