She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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