Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
