Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
