Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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