she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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