By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
