And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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