are you still at the devil's house?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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