You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
