Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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