Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
