Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
