you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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