The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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