She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
