I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
