I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize