I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
