Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
