if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
