thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Is it penis luge time yet?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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