Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize