He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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