quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
