I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
