i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
