I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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