so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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