i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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