You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
