We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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