he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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