is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
