Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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