Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
