Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
