just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
