First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
