I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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