Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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