My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
