Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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