just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
