If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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