Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
