he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize