lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Come on in and take your pants off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
