What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
