mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
