The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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