Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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