omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
