Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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