So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
