I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
where am i from again
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
