All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
