forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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