At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
