I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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