at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
