There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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