i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
