Where is the hickey?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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