It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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