I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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