I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
