Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
